Despite the train strike and weather conducive to being in the great outdoors, we sold out for this year’s conference! A lovely day of workshops and discussions. A delightful lunchtime outdoor gathering adding a celebratory feel.
Some suggestions for next year have been noted and I am hoping to hear from more of you. If you have an idea for a session you would like to lead or something you want to learn more about please let me know.
Vegan food by Thyme for Tiffin
I recently watched (with my partner) a programme on the BBC called Couples Therapy* and feel moved to share some thoughts on it.
Format – Real couples agreed to be filmed in session with New York psychoanalytic psychotherapist Orna Guralnik, who also revealed something of her process through segments with her clinical supervisor**. Couples were also shown briefly at home. Each episode interwove the journeys of three or four couples over several sessions so the viewer is invited to learn about them and witness their engagement and processing within the actual therapy sessions. The second series found itself in New York lockdown and on zoom. Multiple remote cameras were used to bring us in close and smart editing, music and cutaway segments helped us follow the various stories and added some context.
The couples’ difficult experiences were handled sensitively and appropriately, allowing us insight into how couple dynamics interplay and of course, how they can become enormously frustrating, painful and seemingly intractable.
It felt like great advertising for the often misunderstood process of therapy. My hope is that viewers can see change actually happening.
The couples have become convinced of certain outcomes or responses, they look desperate or defeated when they start, but gradually, through their own motivation, trust, courage and application, they begin to find other, better ways to relate. The therapist’s kindness and skill help form a place of calm where the couples break with habits of old, where they learn to hear what each other really wants and often they hear themselves differently too. This in turn opens up possibilities for real change.
This show demonstrates how many common assumptions can be challenged and even turned on their head. I have heard people say:
When client’s history was discussed we saw how early life experiences can embed beliefs in us that feel normal, natural or unchangeable. We witnessed how lives can not only be shaped but how they can be changed. How we can change ourselves.
Bravery. I don’t quite know how to express the feeling I have for the clients’ bravery. The show includes some wonderful moments where a person who seemed stuck finds a new perspective Or someone who habitually responds by dismissing, dissociating or even attacking takes a risk and steps into new territory. This requires trust and the courage to be really honest with their partner, with the therapist and with themselves. I see this in my work quite often, but to see it from the outside and in this narrative form was for me, profound and emotional. (Not every client manages this and the show includes one who quite strikingly doesn’t do it.)
As a therapist who works with couples it was fascinating for me to see another therapist at work. We know that the client has to do the most significant part of the work, but we know also that good listening, a solid theoretical foundation and our own integrity will be really important for the therapy to succeed.
*BBC iPlayer – Couples Therapy
**a clinical supervisor in an experienced and specially trained assistant to the therapy process. A therapist meets them regularly to discuss/review the client work that we are doing to help us work safely, efficiently and to assist our continuous learning. Having an outside eye can also help us to manage our own biases and to help us notice when our own experience is unhelpfully influencing our approach.
Anyone who has feelings can benefit from counselling and psychotherapy, but people with disabilities are under represented in counselling. People with learning difficulties or disabilities and people who are not independent are often not referred for therapy. People with physical or mobility issues may find obstacles prevent them from attending or even looking for therapy. So I offer a discount for people in receipt of disability benefits*; for people who experience physical barriers/limitations, people with learning disabilities/difficulties or people who experience difficulties due to autistic spectrum conditions. All clients need a counsellor who can attune to their needs and work with them to find ways of expressing/exploring them. These are not a special needs, but typical, normal, general needs and I hope that a financial discount may help people facing barriers to inclusion to get in touch a therapy that might suit them.
I recognise that there may be concerns that are specific to a person’s condition or identity, that a client might want to find a person with appropriate experience of to talk to. For example a person with mobility issues may wish to talk with someone who also has mobility issues, in the hope that they will better understand each other. This makes sense, but it is also true that an experienced therapist can help a client find solutions without having to have faced the precise same issues.
I believe I am able to offer a creative, compassionate and empathic approach that will strive for appropriate solutions. I do this in collaboration with each client, and this is something I learned initially from making dance/movement with people with physical disabilities. While the range of available movements may differ from person to person, the benefits they may get from moving, exercising, expression, creation, play or reflection… is no less significant. When making performances with people with learning disabilities I realised that the goal was not to transmit my ideas, but to facilitate theirs. It doesn’t matter how good my ideas are or how inspiring I think they are… if we can’t share them. So I learned to begin with each person’s current ability/understanding and work from there. This allowed us both to communicate and meet on a practical and creative level, to find a way forward together.
In my life and various roles I have worked with many people with disabilities, impairments, injuries and difficulties. Now, as a counsellor I work for a charity that provides free counselling for people in the Greater Manchester area who are on the autistic spectrum or have learning disabilities. However, in my private practise, here in Todmorden, I have very few clients who would describe themselves as disabled. There may be several reasons for this, but I am proposing to reduce the financial barrier to therapy by offering 2 more reduced price slots (starting at £30).
*I offer several discounted slots so if you are not in receipt of benefits, but feel that cost is a barrier to seeking therapy, please feel free to enquire.
Meeting indoors is the typical setting, in a quiet space with resources at hand. My aim is to provide a comfortable, private space for you to explore and learn about yourself. We each have our own unique strengths, habits, vulnerabilities and needs. Discovery requires vulnerability, which requires safety.
Archive info of event at Todmorden Therapy Space 2018
Saturday 8th September 2.30-4pm at Todmorden Therapy Space. White rose Mill, off Rise Lane, Todmorden. OL147AA
As an addition to the exhibition of Geoff Read’s collaborative portraits we will host an open discussion broadly around the theme of expressive arts and mental health. More specifically we are interested in how people use expressive activities to understand and tolerate difficulties in their lives.
This is part of the Todmorden Open Studios 2018 event where artists across the town open their studios and invite the public to see their work and workplaces.
Geoff’s work opens up the traditional role of artist into one of collaborator – he involves his subject in decisions about their portrait – and in some ways, this brings him closer to my role as a counsellor. He offers his skills and experience to facilitate expression, as do I. Non-verbal expression can be as important as words, so I was intrigued to see how Geoff’s work opens up these possibilities to people who may not consider themselves artists, or even creative.
A self-portrait can be a statement of identity and a message to the world about the subject’s experience. A person experiencing difficulties may really appreciate some help or assistance in making such a statement and through the process they may also get new perspectives or acquire strength , self-confidence and resilience.
We hope you can join us to share your ideas and experiences of how expression has helped you in your life, or how you might view your role as an artist, or how you use art and non-verbal mediums to understand your experiences, or how art can be used to impact or change society…
Geoff describes his approach and ethos very well here.
Feel free to contact me via the contact page for enquiries.